The week truly ran trepidations and renditions of Tagore’s Home and the World. The more I soared into the world, the more I unearthed the layers within. The more vastness I was led into, the more depth I was met with.
I read this novel years ago, but on this trip, the tradition and modernity became the two polar spectacles to administer my experience, and I so think is for, any person abroad, immigrating or travelling. In week six here, I was in the middle of the two places.
I went to meet, walk, experience this beautiful country and on reaching home, tired and fulfilled, I stood watching over my desk. I attended an exhibition opening of the two artists this week, where a particular artwork for one, caught my attention. It read ‘trust returns to me’. I felt a sudden jolt, as I read this, as though it was a syntax mistake. The artist wrote the words ‘trust returns to me’ and not the modern way of things: “I need to trust more” or ” I need to work on my trust issues” and it felt very assuring in ways, as though, it was not my fault that trust was missing. It was not one more thing one has to work on. It placed centrality in one’s experience and assuringly welcomes back trust, whenever it would like to return to me. Like an old friend, on their own journey.
The idea made me feel more certain and comfortable about silences that I was working on. Suddenly i felt comfortable with their presence and they no longer felt like gaps and ruptures. The very thought was discomforting because for 5 weeks now, I was building silences as violence and suddenly, they were acceptable?
The world truly influences the home, after all. It is truly meant to shake and strengthen the foundations. As I had learnt last week, I want to see what this does to my work and residency. I wouldn’t try to control it.
